a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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