I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
