can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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