Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
