Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
