If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
