At least make sure they are 18
Why
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
