Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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