K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize