Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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