laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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