i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
