Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
