She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
