did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
