Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Couch. On fire.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
