Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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