im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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