This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
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