somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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