I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
