Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
