Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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