Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
