It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize