I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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