At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize