She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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