I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
