i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
