omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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