Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
