apparently the secret to your success is patron
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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