I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
