I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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