I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
