remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
