The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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