Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
