i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
