Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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