I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
