he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I smell stomach acid.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
