That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
