I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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