As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
