He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
