We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
