if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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