I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
