So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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