Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
