Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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