3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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