Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Randomize
