The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
