She is in my trunk
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
