dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Two words: blizzard sex
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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