THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
