it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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