Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
