yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My liver just had a heart attack.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
