We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you mean i was at the winter classic?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
