I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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