do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
