Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
