Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
